I Can't...

I know i haven't made a post for awhile but a lot has happened since the last time i posted. Same-old, same-old...
All my life all i wanted to be is normal... to have a normal family and not want to worry were i'm going to live and what i should fix for supper. Those things are something a 16 year old girl like me should not have to worry about and the thing is i used to... i got so tired of it and pushed it onto my 13 year old sister.. it's one thing for me but to push away the responsibility to my even younger sister?
All i can think about is what a horrible person and sister i am... how could i do that to any of them even though it seems like they could possibly deserve it.
When my stepmom told me she was kicking us out, that my dad had taken her side and that i was back to taking that responsibility of finding us a place to live were we can be and feel safe. Half the time i can't even focus on school work cause all i worry about is how long am i going to but stuck with responsibility that should be a parents. That i have to figure out were our next meal will come from if Melinda isn't going to feed us. How much i wish i could tell all the kids who make fun of me cause i'm a "goody-goody" cause i never get to go to parties or have fun. I wish i could tell them that i don't get that privilage because i am to busy taking care of my family that everyday i'm alive falls apart and makes me want to give that much more.
I am so tired of the snickering, rude comments and the feeling of wanting to die cause i don't live the "right" life. I know i should be happy with what i got and people have way worse. But when i feel the need to give up everyday no one can tell me i am being selfish cause theres something they don't know... All this is m fault, everything bad that's happened to my family is most likely because of me... especially when my family basically tells me so...